There's No Place to Go But Down Recap
5/15/2020 12:20 pm
Talk about a game-changing episode! So many story and character-based elements are going to change from here on out. After getting caught by Bane and Two-Face in the prior episode, it’s time to see what happens when you cross two of the most deadly villains in Batman’s rogues gallery. Read on to the recap below!
- Trial By Fire: Harley and Ivy are put on trial for the murder of the Penguin by Two-Face and Bane with the latter is acting as the judge for this hearing. While Bane promises to give the duo a fair, unbiased chance, Two-Face decides to go the opposite direction and give Harley and Ivy the incomprehensible Man-Bat as their lawyer. Despite Harley wishing for Ivy to allow her to take the blame with her marriage coming up, Ivy sticks up for her best friend out of sheer loyalty despite the consequences. Bane finds the defendants guilty and sentences them to life in prison.
- Indirect Father/Daughter Bonding: Commissioner Gordon and Batgirl, the former still unaware of the latter’s identity, are searching throughout the dark sewers for Ratcatcher. Upon finding the nefarious foe, Batgirl orders her slovenly father to stay put while she does a quick look around the parameter before setting in an attack plan. Gordon then proceeds to accidentally drop a flask which catches the attention of Ratcatcher who sends his army of rats to devour him alive. Falling into the murky waters of the sewer, Batgirl disappointedly helps her father get out while he vehemently denies the flask is his despite his name being branded on it.
- Pit-y Party: Our two sentenced protagonists are being escorted to their new home with Harley worried by the fact that Kite-Man doesn’t even know his fiance is being imprisoned. Confident that they can break out of Arkham Asylum with ease, the two friends exit the vehicle only to be surprised by a gargantuan pit. Bane, now acting as a prison warden as well, reveals that the pit is their new home in the form of a rehabilitation center. Harley and Ivy refuse to go down the pit, but the ever-so sympathetic warden just shoves the two down there with minimal effort.
- Home Is Not Where The Heart Is: Bane explains to the two new prisoners that their new home is a place for redemption and not somewhere for them to rot for eternity. With other iconic adversaries from the Batman rogues gallery like Killer Croc and Mister Zsasz also incacipated there, Harley and Ivy are placed in an open-door cell as Bane explains that no matter where they go, they’re still going to be stuck in the pit. Ivy begins to worry as she finally has someone she truly loves and now cannot even get the chance to tie the knot with him now. Harley assures her close friend that everything will be alright and they’ll find a way to escape.
- Ambushed at Dinnertime: Commissioner Gordon and Barbara, the former eating a revolting supper of pasta mixed with mayonnaise and bourbon, are discussing how the latter wants her father to clean up her act. Gordon believes that he’s at his best despite his alcohol obsession and manic attitude. When Gordon finally starts to consider relenting at the sake of his daughter, the family’s house is suddenly riddled by bullets. Two-Face and a few of his goons visit Gordon and Barbara in order to send them a message about Gordon deciding to play cop again in the form of a bomb.
- Unmasked: Taking refuge in his daughter’s bedroom closet, Two-Face and his goons are on the trail for finding Gordon and taking care of what they should’ve done a long time ago. After realizing the errors of his hedonistic ways after finding photos of him and Barbara during a happier time, Gordon finally gives up his hiding place and accepts his fate as the supervillain goes in for the kill. However, Batgirl swoops in just in time and takes out the goons while Two-Face escapes. Confused why she saved him, Batgirl reveals her identity to her father saying that he is the inspiration for wanting to take down crime in Gotham much to his happiness.
- Whose Line Is It Anyway?: During a group therapy session, Bane reveals that the famous comedian, George Lopez, will be coming down in a helicopter to do a short bit for their upcoming talent show. Harley proceeds to come up with the ingenious idea to do a comedy bit insulting all of the prisoners which would start up a riot to distract Bane and allow her and Ivy to escape in the helicopter. However, as Bane comes in to do a routine check and notices Harley’s bed isn’t made, he cancels Harley’s bit for the show and it’s up to Ivy to deliver the bit herself.
- Shameful Stand-Up: Harley is forced to watch the talent show in a different cell guarded by Sheryl, an associate of Bane who’s been enhanced with his serum. After a successfully hilarious bit by Lopez, Ivy attempts to go up and begins to tell her insulting jokes to start up a riot. However, Ivy’s delivery fails to make anyone laugh or riot as she starts to be booed for her awful stand-up. Deciding to open up her heart instead of trying to make people laugh, Ivy begins to explain their plan to the audience while also making cracks at her life which makes them all genuinely laugh at her jokes. Moved by her words, the audience lead by Mister Zsasz agrees to starting up a riot in order to get out of the pit.
- A Greater Gordon: Commissioner Gordon decides that it’s time to take back what’s rightfully his and stop Two-Face and his reign on the GCPD. After pouring all of the alcohol from his kitchen cabinets with his daughter, Gordon visits his former workspace and proceeds to blast the brains out of Two-Face’s various goons. After getting rammed by a police car and getting stabbed in the hand, Gordon is finally able to defeat Two-Face by smashing a bottle of alcohol over his head, promptly knocking him out. Gordon proceeds to incarcerate the supervillain in a GCPD cell with the former commissioner victorious at last.
- It’s About Time: Despite Bane’s pleas to continue rehabilitating themselves, Harley and Ivy begin to escape the pit after Harley broke out of her cell by breaking Sheryl’s arm. With the now-angered prison warden in tow, Bane gets a grip on Harley’s leg which drags the two down from escape. Harley attempts to sacrifice herself, so her best friend can get the happy life she deserves. Letting go off Ivy and with Bane incapacitating her, Ivy is able to successfully rebound and grab her friend not before Harley is able to rip the tubes from Bane’s head that supplies him with his specialized serum. Now ecstatic that they’re free, Harley and Ivy share a kiss in the heat of the moment, much to their shock when it ends.
And that was it for this week’s episode! Be sure to join us here next week for another all new episode and recap!
All the Best Inmates Have Daddy Issues Recap
5/8/2020 2:59 pm
You gotta love a good flashback episode, especially one that looks at how a character may or may not have fallen in love with somebody. Yes, Harley and Ivy are definitely meant to be. Wait, you thought I meant Harley and Joker? Get real! But let’s not focus on that so much right now as we recap this episode. Check it out below.
- Fuck, Marry, Not Killed: Harley and Ivy are hanging out at their usual goon bar playing a classic game of “Fuck, Marry, Kill,” when Harley spots a bartender who looks exactly like a de-Jokerized Joker. Ivy wants to kill him, but Harley convinces her to sneak away with her instead.
- Falling, But Hopefully Not For You Again: Unfortunately, as Harley tries crawling away out the door, Joker trips over her. He appears to be perfectly normal (Almost to an extreme) and is very nice about the accident. He mentions his kids, which causes Harley to think maybe Joker really has changed for the better, but Ivy doesn’t think people can change. So, Harley goes into a flashback to prove to her that that’s not true.
- Fire Solves All Problems: Several years ago, Dr. Harleen Quinzel arrives to her first day working at Arkham Asylum and meets a much more stable and physically fit Jim Gordon as well as the head DA of Gotham: Harvey Dent. They go over Harleen’s mission: talk with the Joker, get him to tell her where he put a bomb somewhere in Gotham. Just then, an alarm goes off as Poison Ivy is staging a brawl with several guards. The guards overpower her plant abilities with flamethrowers courtesy of DA Dent’s rather brutal criminal justice policies. Harleen watches sadly as Ivy is dragged away, and Gordon orders her to go talk to Joker.
- Meet The Inmates: Harleen walks to Joker’s cell, passing several familiar faces in Arkham’s cells such as a non-melted Scarecrow and a currently-balding Riddler. When Harleen gets to Poison Ivy’s cell, she shows sympathy towards Ivy over what the guards did to her, but Ivy just tells her to fuck off and calls her a narc. Harleen gets to the Joker’s maximum security cell just as he’s being served lunch. Harleen tries to get him to tell her where the bomb is, but Joker attacks her and mocks her efforts. He appears to be trying to kill her with a pen, but Harleen uses her gymnastics skills to get away from him, though not before Joker draws a smiley face on her neck, proving that he wasn’t trying to kill her, but testing her.
- Enter The Bat: Harleen is chewed out by Gordon and Dent for not getting the information on where the Joker’s bomb is. Harley asks for another shot, but Batman shows up from out of the shadows, apparently having been in the room the entire time, and insists that he take a crack at the Joker. Batman beats the Joker around a bit trying to get the information out of him, but all Joker does is mock Batman and remind him of how he recently killed Jason Todd. Batman declares Joker a lost cause and insists on evacuating the city to protect Gotham from the bomb, but Harleen figures out a possible way to get the info after going through Poison Ivy’s file and seeing that she was once in group therapy with Joker.
- Mr. Ferris: Harleen goes to Ivy to ask her about Joker. All Ivy says is that in group therapy, Joker didn’t like talking about his family. Ivy then yells at Harleen to leave her alone and Harleen does now that she has the information she needs. She goes to talk with Joker again and gets him talking about his abusive father and his beloved pet ferret Mr. Ferris whom his father killed after a young Joker caught him cheating on his wife with the maid. Joker then chooses to tell Harleen where the bomb is hidden on the condition that he be able to dine once in the Arkham cafeteria that night and have a real meal. Harleen agrees to this and Joker tells her that the bomb is in the heart of Little Italy.
- Love Begins To Bloom: As Batman and Gordon roll out to stop the bomb, Harvey Dent chooses to stay behind because he doesn’t want the press seeing him around an armed bomb. Meanwhile, Harleen goes to speak with Poison Ivy who is surprised to see Harleen still alive. Harleen thanks Ivy for helping her and offers to be her friend. She gives Ivy a small plant as a gesture of friendship and Ivy remarks that she could kill Harleen with it easily. Harleen simply says “Yeah. You could.” and walks away with a smile as Ivy smiles too and makes the plant blossom. At the heart of Gotham’s Little Italy district, Batman finds no trace of a bomb. Back at Arkham, Joker dines with Harleen on a first date of sorts, as Joker calls it. He remarks that the reason he keeps coming back to Arkham is because of the asylum’s cook Luigi who it turns out has a nickname which Harleen quickly realizes is “Little Italy” as Luigi starts having heart problems before exploding and blowing a hole in the asylum wall for Joker to escape through.
- People Change: Joker escapes Arkham, carrying Harleen with him on his shoulders. Harvey Dent and the Arkham guards give chase. Harleen is furious, but the Joker remarks that as long as he has her hostage, the guards won’t shoot him. He’s wrong, however, as Dent’s desire to win re-election trumps his nonexistent morals, and he orders the guards to open fire. A bullet is blocked by a vine produced by Poison Ivy who has come to Harleen’s rescue. She restrains the Joker just as guards arrive with flamethrowers and guns, ready to kill everyone in sight. Ivy surrenders so the guards don’t hurt Harleen in the crossfire, and she asks Harleen if she would be willing to be her therapist as the guards take her and Joker away. Harleen says yes and then disses Dent, becoming the first person to call him Two-Face. We flash back to the bar in the present where Harley tells Ivy that since she could change, Joker could change too. Ivy says that Harley didn’t change her from hating people, she helped her, and also that she didn’t always hate people. She says it wasn’t until Mr. Ferris, who it turns out was really Ivy’s first plant as a kid, died that she started hating people. Apparently, Joker stole Ivy’s story from group therapy and made it his own to gain sympathy from Harley all those years ago.
- Psychos: Harley and Ivy decide they need a way to make sure that Joker really has changed, so they call in Dr. Psycho. He reads Joker’s mind in the bathroom and reveals that he doesn’t have any memories from before he was dropped in the normalizing acid. Harley and Ivy leave satisfied, only to be captured by Two-Face and his many goons outside the bar. Inside the bar, Joker receives a text from his girlfriend’s kids of their faces covered in what looks like blood but is actually just pizza sauce. Joker starts laughing at the photo, finally showing some semblance of his old self in his classic insane cackle before reverting back to the overly-normal person he is now.
And that was it for this week’s episode! Be sure to join us here next week for another all new episode and recap!
Batman’s Back, Man Recap
5/1/2020 4:44 pm
It’s definitely a lot of fun when shows poke fun at themselves, are self-aware, and make light of current events. Today’s episode is in that vein, taking shots at everything from Snydercut stans, the show’s more vocal critics. Intrigued? Check out full recap below:
- Just another heavy-handed female empowerment story: The episode opens up with two dudebros hanging out and discussing regular things, like LotR theories, and bashing female-led superheroes by point out all of its “flaws”. Despite that, the new episode intrigues them enough to watch. Particularly because Harley and Ivy don’t appear.
- Batman’s back: Bruce is up from his coma, and he’s…in a lot of pain, both physically, and emotionally once he sees what’s beyond his window (and the expertly placed backdrop of a perfectly fine Gotham). He wants to get right back into fighting crime, despite the fact he’s literally crawling on the floor after falling over, and is clearly in no shape to fight or do anything.
- Shitshow or Binge Buddies: While Alfred tries to sway Bruce with binge watching the hundreds of new shows, Bruce decides to catch up with Jim Gordon, who doesn’t mince words at how bad Gotham is, and he wants Bruce to bankroll his new police force, emphasis on force.
- The Adventures of Macaroni and Batgirl: Bruce is brought up to speed on who has been trying to keep Gotham safe: someone with a big poofy wig filled with gadgets, and Batgirl, who is also running one crazy social media campaign, and it seems to be working in her favor. Meanwhile, Two-Face and Bane are trying to figure out what to do, but Bane is still getting sidelined to his tiny chair, with a memorial in Freeze’s old seat. While Bane would be interested in combining forces, Two-Face won’t hear of it, clearly thinking himself above someone like Bane.
- Batwatch: While Bruce does “research” (as well as down-voting) Batgirl’s videos, he finds himself wanting to get Batgirl to stop, even though he’s in no condition to tell her that, as Alfred keeps pointing out to him. But he finds a solution, to hide behind a wall on a rooftop, keeping his cane out of sight in order to try and convince Batgirl to stop her crusade. However, the fangirling Bat stan decides to out him to her 1.3 million followers that he’s alive and back! Of course, him being alive now means that people aren’t so afraid of Two-Face, and actually don’t fear him anymore.
- Two Faces: With the news out that Batman is back, all of Gotham is elated, but Alfred is still demanding that Bruce stays in his room, as he proves it by trying to get Bruce to pick up his socks from the ground, which he can’t. They trade some wonderful banter, but in the end, Alfred makes several good points. Meanwhile, Two-Face is changing his tuen, now acting like he’s Bane’s biggest buddy, giving him an executive chair and everything. He agrees to combine forces, but in such a way that it’s not immediately obvious - to everyone but Two-Face. While he claims that this has nothing to do with Batman being back, and that this is a 50-50 partnership, it’s very much not.
- Monica: Lucius Fox has been up to something, and that is a new armored suit with a lot of advanced gadgets, and an AI named Monica. But Alfred won’t hear of it, dragging the entire suit by himself and to his room. But Bruce isn’t swayed, taking the suit from Alfred, who turns out is a very heavy sleeper. He takes the suit for a run and it’s going fantastic, he’s taking everyone down. Except Bane. While Batman thinks this is just Two-Face’s operation and points out the flaws of the partnership, it enrages Bane to get juiced up, and truly beat the shit out of Batman. One he’s done, he heads after Two-Face.
- Broken Bat: With Batman left for dead, Two-Face’s goons are having their party with him strung up, only to be taken out by Macaroni and Batgirl, and as Bruce finds out, the Macaroni is none other than Alfred. Bruce is saved, and Two-Face’s goons are taken out, and it’s probably going to be the start of a good partnership. Meanwhile, Bane is still going for his reckoning against Two-Face, but he manages to talk his way out of Bane breaking him, and instead gives him his own hole to take care of.
- Sitting Bats: Jim meets Batman on a rooftop, who has opted for a little stool to sit on, and introduces Jim to Batgirl, who Batman says will be working with him to help reclaim Gotham while he recuperates. It’s a great ending, and even the two guys from the beginning agree, though in different ways.
And that was it for this week’s episode! Be sure to join us here next week for another all new episode and recap! Let us know what you think in the forum or the comments below.
Thawing Hearts Recap
4/24/2020 8:35 am
This week’s episode is a total treat! Taking a bit of a softer, more sensitive tone, Harley returns to Mr. Freeze’s lair with the intention of executing him… only to find out that her perception of him was completely wrong. We get an insight into Mr. Freeze’s life and his wife, Nora, all while learning about the meaning of true love. Confused? Read on!
- Burn Baby Burn: Flamethrower in hand, Harley is back at Mr. Freeze’s lair and works on melting the ice wall guarding his fortress. A true female warrior, she carves out an entrance into the shape of a vagina, beckoning her team inside. Once in, the team gets a notification that Ivy said yes to Kite Man’s proposal; it’s official! Harley is excited for Ivy’s wedding but refuses to bring a date; as they’re taking down Mr. Freeze’s goonies, she reveals that post-Joker Harley wants nothing to do with love and dating. She’s single and ready to mingle. Mr. Freeze attempts to apprehend them, and thanks to the cold, he has a home-turf advantage. With little resistance, Mr. Freeze uses his ice gun to freeze the entire gang and takes them captive.
- Petty Texts: Back at the lair, Ivy and Kite Man get ready to tour a potential wedding venus. Fueled by a rivalry with Condiment King, Kite Man is determined to prove himself and his status by marrying Ivy at the Old Gotham Corn Factory. Ivy, being the good fiancee that she is, calms him down and assures him that they’ll get the venue.
- Test Subjects: Mr. Freeze unfreezes Harley and her crew, explaining that they will serve a higher purpose. He’s devoted his life to finding a cure for his wife’s rare, terminal blood disease, and with Harley, he can finally have his first human test subject. Harley does some quick thinking and tells Mr. Freeze that Ivy can help them out. Using her skills and smarts, she’d probably be able to find a cure without using Harley as a test subject. Mr. Freeze considers this a good alternative, puts Harley back in her cell with her crew, and goes off to prepare lunch for them all. He’s nothing if not a good host.
- Stalling Game: King Shark doubts that Ivy will be able to help our Mr. Freeze’s wife, Harley affirms that. She just said that to buy them some time. Instead, she concocts a new plan: take Mr. Freeze’s wife as a hostage in exchange for his freeze ray. Solid plan, except that Mr. Freeze puts them on ice, or well, in ice, for the duration of their meal. He also brings out his wife, Nora, which infuriates Harley as she thinks that Mr. Freeze is making this all up and holding Nora hostage. She changes the plan so that they save Nora, then kill Mr. Freeze.
- Wedding Venue Rivalry: Ivy and Kite Man arrive at the wedding venue… only to be bested out by Condiment King and his beau. Side note just to say that Condiment King is truly incredible. He and Kite Man engage in some tit-for-tat wordplay that ends in Condiment King squirting Kite Man with some mustard and ruining his suit. Truly savage.
- Lunch Date: Harley and her crew eat lunch with Mr. Freeze, and it’s about as awkward as you might imagine. Mr. Freeze tells the story of how he and Nora met, only pissing Harley off further. She goes off on a rant about how love is bullshit, clearly still not over some of her trauma with the Joker. Mr. Freeze goes off to get his spinach puffs from the oven, and while he does, the crew discovers that Clayface is able to get in and out of the ice. He defrosts Psycho and hands the gun to Harley, who defrosts herself and King Shark just as Mr. Freeze comes in with the piffs. She calls Mr. Freeze out on his bullshit and defrosts Nora… but turns out, it ain’t all bull. Nora really is suffering from a blood disease, and now Mr. Freeze wants a cure from Ivy.
- The History of Corn: Speaking of Ivy, she and Kite Man try to impress the proprietor of the Corn Factory, but it isn’t going so well. Ivy has to leave after taking Harley’s call, leaving poor Kite Man to fend for himself. Poor Kite Man.
- Ice Man Woke: Ivy tries to find a cure for Nora, while reprimanding Harley for dragging her into this mess in the first place. Harley says that it’s justified because Mr. Freeze organized the whole Injustice League’s vendetta on her and set her on ice, thus he deserves revenge. However, Mr. Freeze comes out with the truth: he put her on ice as a mercy, while the rest of the Injustice League wanted to kill her. Turns out, Mr. Freeze is pretty woke. However, because luck is usually on Harley’s side, Ivy may have found a cure.
- Purple-ish Pink Flowers: Ivy calls Kite Man and interrupts his unsuccessful stalling of the interview to ask him for help. He gladly leaves, even though it means that he’ll lose out on the Corn Factory as a wedding venue. Ivy tells him which flowers she needs from her greenhouse, and Kite Man retrieves them… after successfully paralyzing himself with the wrong ones. Ivy mixes up a serum that will turn Mr. Freeze’s blood into a type suitable to give Nora a blood transfusion. The only catch? It’ll kill him in doing so.
- An Act of Love: Mr. Freeze gallantly takes the consequence, knowing that curing his wife is worth more than his life. Harley thinks his act is insane, but Mr. Freeze explains that it isn’t, because if she truly loves someone, she will do anything for them. Ivy conducts the blood transfusion, successfully curing Nora while also successfully killing Mr. Freeze. Through this transaction, Harley realizes that what she had with the Joker wasn’t true love at all, and that one day she would like to realize what true love really is. Everyone offers their condolences to a grieving Nora, but she barks at them to get out and leave her alone.
- A Minor Loss: Ivy apologizes to Kite Man for potentially losing the wedding venue, but Kite Man insists it doesn’t really matter, because he loves her. Granted, it isn’t totally pleasant to hear Condiment King brag about his conquest over the phone to Kite Man, but it’s good to know that Kite Man’s heart is ultimately in the right place.
Hope you all enjoyed Harley this week! Be sure to join us here next week for another all new episode and recap! Let us know what you think in the forum or the comments below.
Thawing Hearts Gallery & Synopsis
4/21/2020 9:38 pm
Now that Harley's got the flamethrower, she's back again to take care of Freeze. But it seems like Mr. Freeze has other plans - like making Harley and her crew lab rats for his ever-persistent search for a cure for his wife. And inexplicably enough, from the looks of the images below, dinner! Kite Man and Ivy meanwhile have another problem - trying to book a venue for their wedding. Check out the gallery for next week's episode below:
And here is the synopsis:
Harley and crew try to infiltrate Mr. Freeze's lair only to become human lab rats for his experiments to find a cure for his cryogenically frozen wife, Nora. Meanwhile, Kite Man (MATT OBERG) and Ivy try to impress the manager of Kite Man's ideal wedding venue.
Don't forget to join us on Friday for the recap! Meanwhile, let us know what you think in the forum or the comments below.